For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matt. 6:14-16Conflict by its nature as we’ve seen in the previous points is more than a difference of opinion. The reaction can even lead to retribution or retaliation if taken to its most negative expression. Feelings are often hurt, harsh words spoken, defiance, disagreement, revenge are the antithesis of how the Bible tells us to relate to each other. Someone needs to be the first to apologize and ask for forgiveness. As Christians, we ask God to forgive us for all our past horrific sins, yet often we’re not willing to forgive others, even in the church. That’s wrong. I was hurt in church once and couldn’t even return. Then one Sunday morning, I realized how wrong it was for me to let someone else’s actions prevent me from worshipping. When I walked into church that day, one of the people who had hurt me admitted they were wrong and asked for my forgiveness. That was huge when this person accepted responsibility. How could I not then forgive? Even if they hadn’t asked, I needed to forgive in my heart to release myself from the sin of an unforgiving hardened heart. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Eph. 4:32Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Col. 3:13-14None of the 5 sinful ways of reacting to conflict discussed is appropriate for followers of Jesus Christ. The Scriptures are clear that God has provided healthy biblical ways for Christians to resolve conflict and avoid the negative consequences of unresolved conflict.Acknowledging the potential for conflict allows us to teach our children that we’re not always going to agree, but God has outlined for us how to respond biblically. Sadly, in today’s culture, we see all ages from children to aging adults who don’t know how to engage in debate and disagreements without verbally, and sometimes physically, attacking each other. Many have never learned how to work through conflict in a way that both sides feel heard, even though they may end up agreeing to disagree.Everyone in church is at different spiritual levels and degrees of maturity. Some may have misguided higher opinions of themselves, thinking they know more than others do. Some are young Christians still learning what the Christian life is and isn’t. Others might not be Christians at all. Even if the person you’re in conflict with isn’t a Christian, or doesn’t believe in the Bible, if you stay calm and react biblically, as we always should as Christians, you might find the other person responds appropriately. At least, you know that you did.Learning how to resolve conflict the biblical way allows us to keep our cool and humbly communicate in a peaceful, loving manner—Christ’s way. Unresolved conflict can cause gossip, disunity, pride, unkindness, anger, unforgiveness, and even revenge—Satan’s way. When we resist Satan by adopting Christ-like behavior, the enemy retreats—at least for the moment. He’ll be back with a new strategy, but don’t allow him to get a foothold in your church.It’s important to remember that “the church” is God’s house or gathering place, and He is the head of the household, the family of God. The only perfect person in His house is Him! The rest of the church, including the pastor, elders, and leadership are imperfect people. They make mistakes. They have a higher calling and so their mistakes can have long lasting repercussions, for which they will suffer the consequences. Sometimes, we set the pastoral staff on a pedestal and expect more from them than we expect from God. That will always lead to disappointment.“Peace is not the absence of conflict. It’s Jesus in the middle of the conflict.” Pastor Rob McCoyFools mock at making amends for sin, but goodwill is found among the upright. Pr. 14:9Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/bymuratdeniz
5 Sinful Ways We React to Church Conflict
