Erika Kirk and the scandal of the Gospel

By Adam Dooley, Op-ed contributor Saturday, September 27, 2025Erika Kirk, Charlie Kirk’s widow, speaks during the public memorial service for Christian activist Charlie Kirk at State Farm Stadium in Glendale, Arizona, on Sept. 21, 2025. | PATRICK T. FALLON/AFP via Getty ImagesHer words were just as shocking as the tragic events that took place weeks earlier. As 70,000 people packed into State Farm Stadium in Glendale, Arizona, and an additional 20,000 gathered in overflow venues like Desert Diamond Arena, over 100 million onlookers joined the memorial service by streaming it online, while another 20 million tuned in through traditional television means. All were there to honor the remarkable life of Charlie Kirk, and a holy hush fell over the gathering when his widow, Erika Kirk, stood to offer a few words.The fact that she was able to speak at all was just as remarkable to me as whatever she intended to say. Frankly, I am not sure what I expected, but I was unprepared for what came next. “On the cross, our Savior said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they not know (sic) what they do.’ That man, that young man, I forgive him. I forgive him because it’s what Christ did. And it’s what Charlie would do.” She continued, “The answer to hate is not hate. The answer, we know from the Gospel, is love. Always love. Love for our enemies. Love for those who persecute us.” The moment was breathtaking. But may I be painfully transparent for a moment? Initially, those words were just as insulting as they were inspiring to me. I am ashamed to admit it, but in my weakness, forgiveness is the last thing I wanted to hear from Erika Kirk. Thankfully, the Holy Spirit quickly convicted me.Forgiveness, you see, ranks near the top of the things we are most grateful to receive and near the bottom of things that we are most willing to give. Idioms like bury the hatchet and let them off the hook remind us that showing compassion is tough primarily because it seems equal to diminishing the pain others cause us. Yet, for Christians, unforgiveness is not just unbiblical but also irrational due to the sheer magnitude of God’s grace in our lives.The scandal of the Gospel is that God the Father chose to pour His wrath upon His own Son in order to set vile sinners free (Isa. 53:10). Because all of us are like sheep that have gone astray, Jesus was smitten and afflicted by His own Father as our transgression, iniquity, and chastening fell upon Him (Isa. 53:4-6).Granted, some sins are more offensive than others, but all sins leave us guilty and without excuse before a holy God. Thus, the just suffered for the unjust. The righteous died for the unrighteous. Christ pleaded for our forgiveness even as He purchased it on the cross. The moment you feel deserving of grace while assuming that others are not, you only prove that you do not understand grace. Erika Kirk powerfully reminded us that those who receive grace ought to be the most eager to grant it.When Peter asked Jesus how many times we should forgive those who sin against us, He expounded his question with what he thought was a gracious suggestion. “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” (Mat. 18:21). Though the number seems arbitrary to us, Jewish rabbis taught that believers were only required to forgive the same offense three times. By suggesting amnesty as many as seven times, Peter was more than doubling what common sense seemed to require.Wishing to deepen our understanding of God’s mercy toward us, Jesus intentionally exaggerated, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven” (Matt. 18:22). His point was not that after 490 acts of leniency our benevolence should run out. To the contrary, our Savior’s expectation is that we forgive again and again because this is exactly how God treats us. We might be quick to retort, why would anyone repeat the same offense over and over? What kind of fool would be so ridiculous? Indeed. And yet, our continued rebellion against God follows the same predictable and absurd pattern. To forgive others as God has forgiven us, there can be no limit to the grace we are willing to show.Admittedly, practical questions emerge as we try to be faithful to Jesus’ directive in the real world. Are we obligated to forgive a person who does not want our forgiveness? Or someone who does not repent of their wrongdoing? At this point, there are no indicators that Tyler Robinson has any remorse whatsoever for his sinful transgression against Charlie Kirk. Therefore, understanding the difference between giving and receiving forgiveness is crucial here. Remember, God offers grace to multitudes that refuse to welcome it. We, too, should be willing to give what others are unwilling to receive (Matt. 6:14-15).Aside from the theological consistency of doing so, letting go of our grievances toward others is also good for us. Apart from forgiveness, you will continually think about the offense that caused you harm, keeping you emotionally bound to the person who hurt you. Waiting for an apology that never comes is like repeatedly tearing the scab off a wound. Why should we be willing to give those who scar us so much control over our lives? When a root of bitterness takes hold of your heart, you have allowed your enemy to prevent your continued growth in the Lord (Heb. 12:14-15).But shouldn’t there be consequences for sin? Simply put, yes. The fear of diminishing what happened to us creates reasonable longings for justice and even vindication (Amos 5:24). We must realize, however, that granting a person forgiveness is not the same as setting them free from outcomes of their actions. Employees who steal ought to lose their jobs. Students who cheat ought to fail. Those who break the law ought to go to jail. Assassins who murder innocent citizens ought to face the death penalty. Though counterintuitive, consequences can be a blessing that leads us to repentance and life change. Ultimately, we should trust the Lord to decide the repercussions others face for their sins (Rom. 12:19-21).But what if I cannot forget what happened to me? Chances are, you won’t. Perhaps no other cliché has done more damage to our understanding of forgiveness than the notion of forgive and forget. Putting painful experiences out of our minds is often impossible. Thankfully, biblical forgiveness does not require us to be gullible or naïve. Refusing to dwell on the offenses of our enemies does not mean that we should repeatedly put ourselves in harm’s way. Even when consequences must remain, we can choose not to be bound by the past wickedness of others and even pray God’s best over their lives.At this point, if you do not believe God is doing something remarkable in our nation, you just aren’t paying attention. I am thankful for Erika Kirk’s bold forgiveness and for the scandal of the Gospel. The Lord is using a grieving widow to remind us all just how desperately we need grace.Dr Adam B. Dooley is pastor of Englewood Baptist Church in Jackson, TN, and author of Hope When Life Unravels. Contact him at adooley@ebcjackson.org. Follow him on Twitter @AdamBDooley.